It always came out of nowhere. One minute I am sleeping; the next, I am awoken by agonizing pain. My heart pumping in my chest erratically, and my stomach cramping terribly. I clutch my stomach and bite down on my lip to stop from screaming. I didn’t want to wake Zoe. I know I keep her up at night, and she always hovers worriedly. Usually, it wasn’t too bad, but tonight it was the worst it had been in two months.
I knew he was sleeping with someone. I could tell by the pain ratio. Usually, it’s just like an upset tummy, but tonight I felt like my heart was being pulverized and my stomach twisted in knots. I cry out in pain. Unable to help it, and the lights flick on. Zoe wasn’t going to keep believing it was just period pain. Not after tonight.
” Everly, Everly, ” She shrieks, shaking me, but all I could do was cry out and grit my teeth while clutching my stomach. The pain was crippling.
“Should I call an ambulance? I don’t know what to do. I will get Valarie.”
“No, I am fine,” I gasp before sweat starts beading on my forehead. I feel a draft hit me, and cold air sweeps into the room. Please don’t last long; please stop. I beg the Moon Goddess to make it go away.
How was I expected to handle this for the rest of my life? Would it always be this bad? I start sobbing, big fat tears rolling down my cheeks. I hated that Zoe would have to see me this way, hated that he made me feel this, hated him for what he made me endure nearly every night on some level, but this was worse because I knew he was actually having s*x this time, not just fooling around. I know he was having s*x, he was with another woman, and that woman wasn’t me. Why did I have to be punished for his actions?
Warm hands rub up and down my arms before Valarie’s scent wafts to me; the pain grows worse with each second that goes past, making me scream, how did Valarie survive this s**t for decades?
“I know sweetie, Just breathe, Everly, ” Valarie tells me, and I try to focus on her voice to distract from the intense pain.
“I think we should call an ambulance. Her pain is worse this time. What if something is seriously wrong with her?” Zoe asks Valarie.
“She will be fine; it will be over soon.”
“What will be over soon?” Zoe stutters, and I could hear the concern in her voice as I writhed in pain.
“The mate bond, he is with someone, and it is causing her pain,” Valarie explains to her. I would be mad if anyone else spilled my secrets, but I can’t be mad at Valarie after everything she has done to help us.
“She met her mate?” Zoe says, her voice soft as a murmur.
“Who do you think Valerian’s father is? He is her mate.”
“But why is she a rogue-w***e then, and why would he do that?” Zoe says, and I see her cringe over the word we all hated so much. I blink back tears, nausea bubbling in my stomach.
“She didn’t know when she fell pregnant, and I am afraid her parents would hate her more if they knew who the father was, ” Valarie explains.
Valarie and I had no secrets; she knew everything now. I trusted her more than anyone. She had become like a mother to me. She supported us through everything, and she never turned me away in the two months I have been here. I am closer to her than I ever was with my own mother.
“Breathe, Everly, deep breaths, and try to sit up for me,” Valarie says. I groan, and she helps me up. She hands me my bottle of water off the nightstand, cracking the lid for me before thrusting pills in my hands.
“They will take the edge off,” She tells me, and I rock back and forth. My hands are shaking, and I spill water all over me. Zoe grabs the bottle from my hands, and I shove the pills in my mouth, not even questioning what they are. I trusted Valarie with my life. Zoe brings the bottle to my lips, and I sip it,
swallowing the pills down. Tears brim in her eyes as she looks at me sadly.
“Go find a hot water bottle; there should be one under my kitchen sink, ” Valarie tells Zoe, and she darts out of the room.
“I can’t do this, I can’t keep living like this,” I cry to Valarie.
“I wish I could take it from you, sweety I do, I know how hard it is, but you will get through this, you have got through so much by yourself already, just remember who you are, you are better than him, better than what he makes you feel,” Valarie says.
“I wouldn’t be where I am without you, ” I tell her.
“The Moon Goddess brought us together for a reason. She won’t let history repeat itself; you will find happiness, Everly. She won’t turn her back on you too,” Valarie says. I find her words strange but can’t make sense of much and figure I misheard her as another wave of crippling pain washes over me.
Zoe returns with a hot water bottle and places it on my stomach. The pain eases off again, and I pray it stays away. Please be finished, please be done, I pray, sucking in a deep breath.
The following day I woke up later than usual. Zoe and Valarie let me sleep in after last night. Sitting up, I spot Zoe sitting on the floor on the rug with Valerian and Casey, her daughter. One in each arm while she fed them a bottle.
“Tandem feeding,” I chuckle, and she nods, looking up at me before smiling sadly.
“Why didn’t you tell me? It makes so much sense now, ” She says.
“I didn’t want to talk about it; I don’t like talking about his father. He didn’t recognize me and tossed me away,” I told her. I tried going back to tell him a couple of weeks ago. Valarie told me to try to speak
with him again, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I just kept remembering the look on his face.
The way he screamed at me and Valarie’s story scared me even more. What if he tried to take Valerian from me like her mate did to her. I had no title anymore, my wolf pathetically weak and so small compared to what I should be. I was a rogue, hardly Luna material now.
Valarie said the longer she went without her mate, the harder it became to shift before she no longer could. Being rogue also doesn’t help, making us weaker prey and easy pickings.
I don’ t know how she has endured this torture for years. I finally saw the man she called her mate. I never saw his face, but last week I saw his BMW pull up and watched him sneak into the office with his own key. Then the next morning, I watched him leave again; I hated what he did to her. I saw her heartbreak as he left again, and for three days afterward, she could barely get out of bed. She was depressed, and the only thing that worked was me asking her to help with Valerian.
I refuse to become some side piece; I would rather d*e than live the torment Valarie does. I loved her, but I now understood why she couldn’t maintain this place. Him popping in and out of her life affected her more profoundly than she was willing to admit. Each time though, I noticed she grew weaker. Each time he left, her mind became fragile for days after. She even suffered nose bleeds and tremors. It was almost like watching someone suffer from withdrawals.
“I will make some coffee. Do you want some?” I ask, and Zoe nods her head, and I turn to our small kitchenette. Our room was completely functional, floors were re-stained and polished, the room repainted, cs removed, and blinds put in their place. Thanks to Macey’s brother, the rickety old pipes were fixed, and in the last two months, we had stripped and fixed all the rooms on the top floor. We were far from done, but each passing day showed progress, and the smile on Valarie’s face was worth every ache, sprain, and splinter.
Valarie said we could take the day off today if you don’t feel up to it,” Zoe tells me.
“No, I need to work to keep my mind off him,” I tell her. She nodded her head, and I hated seeing the sadness in her eyes when she looked at me. I know she was worried, but it made me feel weak and vulnerable.
“You have us; we have our village,” Zoe says. Valarie told Zoe the same thing, we were building our village. The more work we got done, I believed she was right. We were definitely building something. We just had to remember not to give up. But with the girls and Valarie, I knew I had found friends for life, created my own family.
I missed my sister terribly, but not once has she called, and mum changed her number. I was the forgotten child. I no longer existed in their world, no longer had a place in their lives. I cried for a good hour when that realization hit. Valarie found me on the stairs after I tried for the hundredth time to contact my mother or sister; I just wanted to hear their voices, to know I wasn’t forgotten.
“Their loss if they can’t see how amazing you are,” Valarie said. She sat beside me on the steps holding my hands.
“You don’t need them; they aren’t wasting tears on you, so don’t waste your tears on them; they don’t deserve them, ” She told me.
Hearing a knock on the door. I get up and open it. Macey walks in before reaching down and taking Valerian from Zoe. She looks at me smiling sadly, and I know Zoe told her, yet I have no anger at my secret being out. I should have told them already.
“So, will you tell us now? I know Valarie knows, but she won’t spill no matter how many times we ask, we won’t judge, I swear, ” Macey says, and I knew they wouldn’t, but it was me that wasn’t comfortable, me judging myself.
But they were right; I could trust them; they deserved to know. It kind of felt like a relief and made the following words leave my lips easier, and it felt freeing.
The girls had so many questions over the last two months, I kept my secrets close to my heart. Their biggest was what pack I came from, I knew all their secrets, but I was ashamed of mine for some reason. They noticed my Alpha aura dwindling, and now it was non-existent. Now they had another secret added to the list. I refused to tell them the father of my child was my mate. I was ashamed and thought they would think less of me because my mate didn’t want me.
“I am the oldest daughter of Alpha John of the Shadow Pack,” I tell them, and they both gasp.
“You’re Alpha John’s disgraced daughter?” Macey gasps.
“Wait, I thought he only had one daughter. She was due to be the next Alpha?” Zoe says.
“Nope, he is my father, and when he found I was pregnant, he told me to abort to cover it up; I said no obviously, so he shunned me and banished me, stripping me of my title, I was supposed to take over the pack when I turned eighteen.”
“Well d**n, I feel like I should be my neck in submission. I knew you had Alpha genes but didn’t think you were from the second biggest pack. I thought you transferred into the rogue population from another city,” Macey admits. I chuckle at her as she bounces on the edge of the bed, burping Valerian.
“Glad I was sitting down for that news, ” She mutters, nudging Zoe with her knee.
“Well, remain seated because if you find that scandalous, you are about to have a heart a****k at what I tell you next,” I tell them.
“Scandalous? You come from one of the most influential families in the City. How would we not be shocked by that, and what could be more shocking?” Zoe says, shaking her head. I s**k in a deep breath.
“Valerian’s father is Alpha Valen from Dark Blood Pack. He is also my mate,” I tell them, their jaws nearly hitting the floor. Macey’s head turns slowly,
her mouth wide open as she stares at Valerian before holding him up in the air.
“You mean to say that I am holding the spawn of Satan himself, that this cute little boy comes from the n*k of the most vicious Alpha in the City and the notorious playboy himself?” Macey says, holding Valerian like she expected him to turn into his father and rip her to pieces.
“Yep, and that’s it. No other secrets, you know the rest.”
“That does explain the eyes. Doesn’t his family have some genetic thing with eyes? I think I read that somewhere?” Macey says.
“You’re worried about his eyes?” Zoe says, looking at Macey before turning back to me.
“Your mate and the father of your child is your father’s biggest rival. D**n girl, you really don’t do things half-assed; you go all in messing s**t up, don’t ya” Zoe laughs. I chuckle as she looks me up and down.
“Yep, the Moon Goddess definitely stuffed me over, that’s for sure; bad enough, he is my mate, but he also had to be my father’s biggest enemy.”
“Count yourself lucky your father banished you. Could you imagine if the Blood Alpha knew you were Alpha John’s daughter and had his son, it would start a war, the City would become a bloodbath, and your father probably would have k****d you,” Macey says, and I had to agree, maybe things really are working out for the best.