Unhealthy relationships come in many forms. Physically unhealthy, violently and sexually, emotionally or the relationship has passed its expiry date. Why do we stay in such relationships and what are the consequences of doing so?
Physically violent relationships may seem like the most obvious of the above for knowing when it is time to leave. Perhaps you should think again. For most of the time if you find yourself in a physically violent relationship you will also be in an emotionally abusive one too. The man or woman who feels the need to “tame” their partner with violence also usually feels the need to disparage their partner and convince them to feel that they can do no better nor would any other potential suitor want them.
Consequences: The person being abused is not only at risk of being broken physically but mentally too. Feeling worthless and insignificant are only two of the many emotions that will be felt. The more the abuser abuses they too will receive less and less comfort from the beatings that they dish out and so will go to greater lengths to achieve the adrenaline rushes the beatings once afforded them.
Sexually unhealthy relationships are harder to determine as by their nature sexual relationships are very personal and private but it should not be overlooked. Now, only you will know if your sexual relationship is unhealthy but here is an idea of how to help yourself figure it out. Think of Fifty Shades Of Grey. Christian & Anastasia’s relationship probably would not suit most people. However, Anastasia was both scared and excited at the thought of such an erotic intimacy. If you do not feel excited at the prospect of the suggestion at hand then do not do it. If you are belittled or humiliated by your partner because of your choice, it is time to get on out of that relationship.
Consequences: Emotionally there is the chance that you could feel cheap, dirty, uncomfortable etc… When it comes to sexual relations you should only ever do what you feel most comfortable with.
Emotionally unhealthy relationships come in many forms. The fundamental aspects are the same though. If you feel as though your partner constantly puts you down, disregards your opinions, laughs at you not with you or makes you feel guilty for normal everyday things, then that is your cue. Find the nearest door, walk through it and keep on walking.
Consequences: Feelings of worthlessness and uselessness. Emotional abuse creates the impression to the abused that they are so lucky to be with the abuser. This is reinforced day in and day out. Eventually the abused will feel that, even if they have managed to break free of the relationship, that any other relationship would be just as bad. Barriers form and loneliness sets in.
The relationship that has passed its expiry date is the hardest to see for what it is and to deal with. We can feel comfortable, safe and secure in these relationships. Marriage and children may play a part. Contentment and true happiness are not evident in the slightest though. Many relationships go through a honeymoon period where the well known rules apply. Is it truly possible however that The Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Anderson lied so many times? “They all lived happily ever after”. Nowhere in the books of old does it say “They all lived with some degree of happiness”. Recognising the signs that you are in a stale relationship is not only difficult but in most cases is actively avoided. Looking in to an unknown future is daunting.
Consequences: You or your partner could have the opportunity to find someone who truly adores them and who you or they adore also. If you have children this can be harder as most couples do not like the idea of their children coming from a broken home. Remember this, you children will grow up and learn from you and your partner. They will use your relationship as a guide and foundation for their relationships. So unless you are particularly good at acting, perhaps the kindest of all for your children is to part with your partner amicably and show that just because one chapter has ended, it does not mean that the story has ended.
Source by Taylor Davenport