Mated To The King’s Gamma Chapter 79: Abbie POV

I watched as he left. He really left. He walked out, and I glanced back at the bed nervously before looking back at the door. I hear him knock on Liam’s door down the hall and I move toward ours when I hear Liam’s voice.

“What’s up, brother?” I just managed to hear him say. I crack the door open just a little to listen. I knew it was coming but I thought I had more time, that maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much when it did. Yet hearing Gannon’s following words crushed me.

“I can’t do this with her anymore; I can’t. She is impossible. She-” he doesn’t finish, just sighs.

“Come on, let’s get a drink,” Liam says, wandering off with him. I shut the door, tears burning my eyes at what he said. Did he mean he didn’t want me? Did he finally realize I wasn’t enough for him, that couldn’t be what he needed?

My thoughts festered, racing through my head as I waited for him to return yet after an hour realized he wasn’t going to. Panic started to grow and writhed through me as I tried to calm my. racing heart and thoughts. Not wanting to wake Tyson, I slipped into the bathroom and sat on the floor. He was leaving me. He was going to leave me because, just like Sia, I was hurting him. I was no good for him, he deserved better. They all did!

Tyson deserved better. Tyson deserved a mother that wasn’t afraid of her own shadow, afraid of his father’s affections. Gannon needed a mate, something I could never truly be for him. I loved him, yet couldn’t do what was expected of me. I didn’t want to see the disappointment on his face when he realized I was tarnished, used, and ruined, and I didn’t want to endure the flashbacks that came with touch.

I felt dirty, felt gross as I stared at the tub. Maybe if I bathed, I would feel better, not so dirty, maybe could wash away the filthy parts of me, and Gannon wouldn’t notice them. So I ran a bath and hopped in

| scrubbed my skin yet no amount of scrubbing would remove the scars, remove the sense of their touch, remove what they did to me and what I was too weak to stop them from doing.

I was too weak to be the King’s Ga*ma’s mate, too vile and gross and now he saw that and nothing! did would fix it, he would leave me.

My actions or lack thereof were hurting him, breaking his heart as Sia did, just as my actions hurt Tandi that day and ruined her life. Just as I ruined Azalea’s because she suffered so much for me, she took more than her fair share of my punishments trying to protect me.

I was useless to all of them, always the burden and now I was seeing that with startling clarity, and that guilt was killing me, rotting me from the inside out as the tears refused to stop flowing when I spotted Gannon’s razor.

It was at that moment I realized I could fix everything. Everything would be fixed if I weren’t here Gannon would move on and find someone who could love him the way he deserved, and Tyson would have a new mother who would cherish and love him.

But most of all I would be set free, and they would be free of the burden that is me. So with that, I ran the razor down both arms. I didn’t feel it, I thought it would sting, but I felt nothing. Nothing at all yet the wounds closed too soon.

growl, cursing my st**idity before slashing and hacking at them again. Still, I healed, tears burned my eyes when I couldn’t even do that right. Getting out of the tub, I hunted around for something

sharper. I had to do this, had to set him free of me, and I know he would never give me up, even if that meant killing himself. I owed them all this, owed them for my failings.

I was sifting through his stash of knives when I found a bottle with a mushed plant in it. I shook it, trying to figure out what it was before popping the cap and sniffing it. I recognize the scent instantly as a smell from my grandmother’s house.

That creepy room she had that was off-limits. Wolfsbane. Taking the bottle, I wondered how much it would burn as I stepped back into the tub.

The water had gone cold and I turned the hot water back on, leaving it on to heat the water as I built up the courage to put not only myself out of my misery but everyone whose lives I was ruining.

Sinking down into the water, I stared at the bottle in my hand before tipping it to my lips. I could fix it, I could make it go away and I could go away with it.

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