My little butterfly flutters around the room, its iridescent wings catching the light that filters in through the window.
On the floor, Kota watches a Disney film with Rio by his side, large headphones blocking out the rest of the world to him.
Rosalie types away at her desk, looking over hundreds of spreadsheets and developing promotional content for her pack’s company.She is the Head Social Media coordinator in charge of the company’s social media presence.
As she works, she instructs me to give her pup, Emile, a bath and put him to sleep.I execute the task with great care, preparing a warm bath with little bubbles.
Emile seems to enjoy the bath, his eyes widening as I pour a little water over his hair and his legs kicking frantically with excitement.
He likes the water…my wolf, Cynthia smiles.
Just like Archie.
An overwhelming sadness fills my heart as I look down at the small happy pup in my arms, seeing in him the little boy I had lost long before I became Zane’s mother.
He’s with his father now, Cynthia tries to comfort me but it’s no use.
There would forever be a small hole in my heart…all because of My life as a Ravenstone wolf was by no means perfect.
Being deaf, I was always pushed around and made fun of for being unable to talk or hear.
While my parents never said it, I knew they were ashamed to have a deaf daughter and Alpha Tristan (Alpha Toran’s father and former Alpha of Ravenstone) would not have hesitated to get rid of me were it not for the fact that my father was the gamma’s younger brother.I learned early on that it was best to stay out of the Alpha’s way and be invisible.
But Damon saw me, and he never stopped seeing me.
Growing up, none of the other pups understood me nor did they bother to try.I was too strange because I talked with my hands and made weird sounds whenever I tried to speak.
But as Moon Goddess would have it, I met my mate in a sandbox of all places.
He wanted to know why I played with the sand all by myself and never joined In on the games with the other pups.He wanted to know why I used my hands instead of my words.
When Damon realized I could not hear, he brought me a notebook and wrote down all of his favorite things to do in it so that we could do them together.
Hide and seek, tag, and mancala were among our favorite games to play together.
I taught him how to sign and he taught me how to hear with my eyes and feet.
His father was learned to stay vigilant, like relying more on my nose and my sense of touch.
I was devastated the day of my first shift when I realized my wolf was as deaf as I was.I had held onto the hope that I could hear in her form, but Moon Goddess did not grant me that gift.
“You are not useless,”Damon told me as I shifted back into my human form and burst into tears.
“You are just different.”
Those simple words helped soothe my broken heart and I learned to accept myself as I was.
The day of Damon’s 18th birthday will forever be one of the greatest days of my life.
He did not hesitate to claim me as his mate, marking me that very same day.
I was only 16 but my parents were overjoyed that I would not spend the rest of my life in loneliness as they had expected me to.
With Alpha Toran’s permission, I was allowed to move in with Damon as his wife despite not being a matured wolf yet.
Neither Damon nor I were ready to start a family, so we focused on building our home and becoming contributing members of the pack.
Damon became a hunter like his father while I finished school and worked at the pack library as a custodian.
Damon was overjoyed to be a father.
He got to work building the nursery, putting special attention to every corner of our pup’s room and child proofing virtually every room in the house.
Despite the joy, I was nervous about being a mother.
“What if he is deaf like me?”
I cried one night “Then we will love him,”
He replied as he wiped away my tears.
“And he will know love like no other.”
He quelled all of my fears with his kisses and his love, reassuring me that there was nothing wrong with my deafness.
Our pup came without trouble and he was the most beautiful boy my eyes had ever seen.
Archie’s big blue eyes were shaded by a pair of thick long lashes like his father’s and he had my dirty blonde hair.
No sign could describe the joy I felt when I held him in my arms for the first time.
Archie responded well to auditory stimulation like bells or the sound of his father’s voice, asserting that he was not deaf at all.
Damon was a doting father, spending every second he could with sleep in the middle of the night.
“Go back to sleep,” he’d sign.
“I’ve got Archie.”
While our small family was not rich and we could barely make ends meet, our life was perfect.
Damon loved me and I loved him.
We had a healthy pup and a house to call our own.We had everything…
Until that fateful day Scarlet Haven attacked.
Scarlet Haven and Ravenstone were once close allies, but that all came crashing down the day Alpha Toran discovered Alpha Cyrus and Luna Bre’s betrayal.
This would mark the beginning of a vicious and bloody war.
Alpha Toran was determined to see Scarlet Haven burn to the ground and he killed Alpha Cyrus.
When Cyrus’s younger brother, Sebastian, took over, Alpha Toran wanted to send a message to young new Alpha, killing both his first-born son, Jonathan and then later his wife, Eleanor.
It was an unthinkable act, but Alpha Sebastian would go on to commit an even greater war crime a pack could ever undertake.
With Damon and I both working full-time, I was forced to sign Archie up in the pack daycare program.
On a day like any other, I it would be the last time I would ever see him.
That morning, four unlabeled packages were delivered to the daycare and at around noon, a large tremor was felt throughout the pack.
I ran out of the library as quickly as I could to see what all the commotion was about and to my horror, I saw the collapsed daycare center In the distance, the burning building giving off a stench of burnt flesh.
There were no survivors, all 26 pups and their accompanying teachers perishing in the explosion.
From then on, the war intensified, Damon volunteering to be a soldier in the name of our son.
I could not convince him otherwise and I lost my husband in the war just one month after losing my pup.I was devoid of all feelings, my heart shriveling up to the size of a shrimp.I could no longer find joy or peace, waking up every night in a puddle of tears and loneliness.
The day Alpha Toran called me to his office, I was more than ready to be cast out as a rogue.I craved It for I saw no purpose in
“I suspect Sebastian’s second son still lives,” he wrote to me as I sat silently in his office.
“Do you want revenge for your son and mate?” I sat there staring at the question on the sheet of paper, understanding the individual words but struggling to comprehend their intention.
“We never did find Sebastian’s secret heir, not even during the attack of the King’s birthday,” Alpha Toran explained.
“I suspect he’s kept the child hidden in the pack house which he has turned into a fortress my men cannot penetrate.”
“I don’t understand,” I replied, my trembling hands struggling to hold the pen to the sheet of paper.
“How could I possibly be of any service and get revenge?” The Alpha smiled wickedly at me, twirling a strand of my hair between his fingers.
“You are weak, there’s no doubt about that. A wolf of your caliber is virtually useless to any pack,” he wrote, his sinister smile never I stared at his bitter words before he continued to write.
“I want you to become a rogue stumbling through woods on the edge of their territory,” he explained.
“Sebastian will either take pity on your pathetic state and take you in, allowing you to find the hidden heir and kill him…” l read the words, gasping at the thought of taking a child’s life.
“Or…” the Alpha continued.
“He may kill you on sight, which I assume is a viable option for you, all things considered,” he shrugged, his eyes scanning my poor state of health.
My cheeks were hollowed out from lack of eating and my once bright eyes were now dull and had dark circles under them.
I shake my head at him.I had lost a child.I could not do the same to another man, not even to the man who took mine.
The Alpha smirked once more, unfazed by my lack of interest in revenge.
“Agnes, I’m not giving you an option,” he smiled.
“You are but a useless mouth to feed.I don’t have room for a worthless mutt like you in a time of war. You will be a rogue whether you accept my proposal or not,” he shrugged.
“However, if you take on my proposal, you will have the added satisfaction of having destroyed the man who took not only your pup, but the only man dumb enough to accept you for a mate.” The Alpha leans back in his chair as I read my fate.
“The choice is yours, my dear Agnes,” he adds on a separate sheet of paper.
“Will you die a worthless mutt in the woods, raped and killed by other rogues…or will you die a hero and end this war so that no other Ravenstone wolf ever has to fear for their pup again?”
My shoulders shook violently as I sobbed with frustration.
Why hadn’t Moon Goddess taken me with my family? With a broken and angered heart, I accepted my new mission and was stripped of my omega status to become a full-fledged rogue.
Three guards escorted me out of the pack and to my horror, took advantage of me.
I was mercilessly beaten and assaulted, the guards claiming it would help me look more believable to Alpha With trembling legs and no will left to live, I walked through the cold forest on my own for a few days, narrowly escaping other rogues in the woods.
Damon’s tricks came of use to me, and I managed to navigate my way to Sebastian’s territory, a group of guards finding me on the edge of Scarlet Haven grounds.
They brought me before the Alpha and I finally put a face to the man that killed my son and took my mate.
My hatred was almost instant and I vowed then and there to find his hidden heir and kill him.
To my surprise, Sebastian led me into his home and took me straight to the child he had kept a secret for years.
All of my anger melted away as I looked into the eyes of the little broken boy locked away in a hidden part of the house.
He trembled in the presence of his father, as if he were afraid to breathe the same air as him.
I knew instantly Zane was just another victim of the war, another pup whose life was taken from him.
A small pain filled my heart as I saw my beautiful Archie in his eyes and I made the realization that this was Moon Goddess’s plan all along.
Zane lost his family and I lost mine.
We were two broken wolves brought together by tragedy.
Revenge left my heart and all I wanted was to protect the innocent little boy staring at me with fear in his eyes.
It’s been 20 years since I lost Damon and Archie and while the pain has never faded, Zane has filled my heart with joy and laughter.
I have learned to smile again, to find beauty in a place full of ugly pain and secrets.
Zane is my sweet little boy and I would never let Sebastian or Toran hurt him…
Emile smiles as I finish rinsing out his little hairs and I carefully lift him out of the bath, drying him off with his towel and dressing him.
I carry the little pup back to the nursery where I find Kota still watching his film with Rio.
Emile blinks sleepily as I set him down in his rocker, and I gently rock him to sleep.
Kota crawls over to peek at the sleeping pup, asking me a question I cannot understand.
He tilts his head to the side as he waits for an answer but I only smile at the curious pup, placing my finger against my lips to tell him to be quiet so the baby can sleep.
Little vibrations tremble beneath my feet and I look up to find Zane at the door, a gentle smile on his lips.
Kota races to greet Zane, jumping in his arms and laughing.
The two speak for a little while, my heart swelling with joy that my Zane has found his own little boy to love.
“How was your morning, mom?” he signs, walking over to me and kissing me on the forehead.
“It was good,” I reply.
“Did your training go well?”
“Define well,” He smiles nervously, and I frown at him.
“You have to be patient with yourself,” I remind him, knowing how much figuring out his gift meant to him.
I do not fear him seeing my memories and finding out who I once was.
If anything, I wanted him to know that I once had a beautiful boy and a loving husband, that I once knew a love far greater than most wolves would ever experience and that I hoped he would one day find love himself…
“You will learn to control it soon enough,” I add, cupping his cheeks.